tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76199816525229207272024-02-20T08:52:36.685-08:00Reserve the Rightone place for all the things i writeBrooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-29814747910998136572019-01-31T09:41:00.000-08:002019-02-27T09:42:12.484-08:00Life downtownTwice this week we’ve had social media dum dums say negative things about the neighborhood we live in. (First of all, why not make a goal to say less things that sound so ignorant?) Secondly, we and our 4 little kids have had a magical few years here walking to the park and the library, playing neighborhood hide and seek, jumping on trampolines and having block parties playing street ball and planting flowers, making friends with black kids and white kids and kids who speak English and kids who don’t and kids who go to various churches or no church at all. We’ve chatted with strangers, we’ve fed hungry kids, we’ve cared for homeless people, we’ve stepped outside of ourselves. Ugh. Our kids don’t need sterile environments. They need diversity and change and perspective and to see new things so they can have chances to talk with their parents, and they need open, tolerant, loving minds. These are people you’re talking about when you make your unsavory comments, like actual individual human beings. What if, instead of preemptively deciding what kind of people your neighbors are and then hiding from them, what if you just talked with them?Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-74218787127223486962018-11-09T10:18:00.000-08:002019-02-27T10:19:24.065-08:00What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?One of my favorites, it’s from George Eliot. Maybe you noticed that I’ve been a little less present on the ol’ IG lately. Brookey Bakes success has happened so fast! I came to a big fat Brookey Bakes crossroads a couple weeks ago, and at that spot I took a minute to regroup, get out in front of, and be the boss of the identity of my business. Here’s the thing, I believe that God speaks to anyone who will listen. As such, in my listening recently, I have come to feel like it’s really important for me to be a lot less busy. Essential habits slip away when we’re busy, and I felt that happening to me. I determined that I need to be able to have much, much more time to focus on my relationships: wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, member of the community... And that I need to be spending time teaching my 4 kiddos how to love God and other people, how to make life less difficult for each other. That meant I needed to redefine Brookey Bakes. So with that...(drumroll)...you won’t see me in retail shops anymore! I would be remiss if I didn’t give a HUGE thank you to Wasatch Roasting & Daily Rise, in particular, for taking a chance on me. It’s hard to let go of that when things were going so well. But I can confidently say this is where I need to be: making pies for YOU. I’m still here for personal orders, for your business meeting or your Thanksgiving table or your wedding or your weekend craving. Just holler. Thanks so much for your love of hand pies. And my other treats of course. Make life less difficult for someone today.Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-72157609542938853512018-10-22T10:22:00.000-07:002019-02-27T10:25:20.905-08:00social media fast, endMy break from social media has been a rich experience for me. As I said before, it’s just good sense to take a step back and get our screens out of our faces and evaluate where they fit in our lives. Coming back to social media, I have two goals. One is to be a lot more deliberate about what I read and see; I want to be the boss of that instead of just being fed my feed. The discussion of what influences we allow on our minds and hearts is a really critical one, one we should be having with ourselves with some frequency. And so my goal is to be more deliberate. My second goal is about relationships and about avoiding divisiveness. I will be spending less time here gathering information about the lives of the people I care about, and more time doing that in real life. And I will try my best to rise above the places where divisiveness is felt. No one can decide what makes another person feel divided from someone, and so I don’t blame anyone if they feel like they need to stop following me in order to avoid that feeling. If following particular someones makes you feel jealous or insecure or envious or judgmental OR if it means you’re making less of an effort to foster that relationship in real life because you get enough of them on social media, then my unsolicited advice is to unfollow that person. Maybe be with them only in real life. Maybe take a break. Just be the boss. The point is peace and better relationships. So those are my two goals.Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-16151145788537927632018-10-09T10:24:00.000-07:002019-02-27T10:25:09.511-08:00social media fast, startBy now you’ve probably seen some of your friends mention the Church social media fast. Here’s a little context: The Lord’s prophet challenged women to take a 10-day break from social media AND from any media that seems to feel disruptive to our minds and spirits. He encouraged us to be prayerful beforehand in order to know which media influences to remove, and to take note about how our minds and spirits have been wounded by media. I feel like this is good sense no matter who you are. It’s naive to think we aren’t absolutely constantly profoundly affected by media in all its forms. And so for me this is a chance to take the reins and be the boss of how I am influenced. I’m excited for this experience. And I hope to make significant permanent changes afterward. Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-49951415288293253632018-10-03T10:28:00.000-07:002019-02-27T10:28:34.909-08:00RevelationIt’s getting less and less cool or smart to be an LDS person. You might think I’m duped. But I stay the course because the spirit has testified this truth to me a bajillion times — Jesus Christ is my Savior, The Book of Mormon is the word of God, Joseph Smith restored God’s Church, and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that Church. Also I’m proof that you can be an LDS person and be cool and smart.<br /><br />As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe that God hears and answers my personal prayers and that He speaks to the world through living prophets.<br /><br />Ralph Waldo Emerson, speaking about revelation and the Bible: "The Hebrew and Greek scriptures contain immortal sentences that have been the bread of life to millions, but they do not have epical integrity, are fragmentary and are not shown in their order to the intellect. … Nor can the Bible be closed until the last great man is born. ... Men have come to speak of revelation as somewhat long ago given and done, as if God were dead. That injury to faith throttles the preachers and the goodliest of institutions become an uncertain and inarticulate voice. The need was never greater for revelation than it is today."<br /><br />God’s revelation continues. This weekend is our General Conference during which the prophet of God, President Russell M. Nelson, as well as other inspired leaders, will share God's word with us.<br /><br />Let me know if you want me to show you how you can listen to Conference, and I’m always around for positive and genuine questions and discussions.Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-15982143141249771752018-08-27T10:39:00.000-07:002019-02-27T15:48:48.390-08:00the growth mindset<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Once again I’m feeling like the luckiest duck about my kids’ school experiences, and here’s one of the latest reasons. Olive’s teacher sent a link to this quick little podcast about the growth mindset and ways teachers can implement it in the school day. I found myself taking a bunch of notes and feeling like the growth mindset is how God must see us. Not fixed in place as big fat failures whose mistakes define us, but rather as His children who are growing and changing and faltering and learning and screwing up and getting up and becoming. The growth mindset is the very essence of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Also it’s the tippy top wisest kind of parenting (I’ll be working specifically on the part where she says to show kids that mistakes don’t upset me). I’m thrilled Olive’s teacher has this perspective and is teaching it to my girl.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEislbnClPDVB7xpulE7kkWYsEfkQSdBj14afueqBHKzF9G4qRbC5sK657plzagK53mq7i6lwVfBPO34KTIe88ez38PtepjJDBKsG1rb3-3N_KsrGzuzDY_Qcgt4o49TQxNCeLicSYJIpmnA/s1600/40140012_10214087312991662_3647085047200088064_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="926" data-original-width="926" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEislbnClPDVB7xpulE7kkWYsEfkQSdBj14afueqBHKzF9G4qRbC5sK657plzagK53mq7i6lwVfBPO34KTIe88ez38PtepjJDBKsG1rb3-3N_KsrGzuzDY_Qcgt4o49TQxNCeLicSYJIpmnA/s320/40140012_10214087312991662_3647085047200088064_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-1498173294314325272018-07-29T11:35:00.000-07:002019-02-27T15:30:25.726-08:00becoming oneDid you know a group of monarch butterflies is called a kaleidoscope? I didn’t. Beautiful. Today I was so moved listening to Reyna Aburto’s talk from 04/18 that I sat down after it was over, studied the words, and took lots of notes. She referenced two groups of people in the scriptures who were united the way the Father is with His Son, one being in Acts and the other in 3 Nephi. In both situations, the people...<br />
*testified of Jesus Christ<br />
*studied the word of God<br />
*ministered to each other with love<br />
And in both situations, the people were blessed in these ways...<br />
*filled with the Holy Ghost<br />
*miracles took place among them<br />
*the Church grew *there was no contention among them (imagine that!!)<br />
*the Lord blessed them in all things<br />
My question then, and has been for a while, how do we be one? My aha moment here is that being one isn’t some action we accomplish, it’s an effect of an action. The action is to draw closer to God (by study, by constant prayer, and the other patterns of daily discipleship). If each of us is doing that then we start to see a better understanding of our purpose, the love of God will dwell in our hearts, we’ll have a determination to be united, and we’ll minister to each other in newer better ways. In other words, if each of us is doing that then we start to become one. All different unique colorful parts of one kaleidoscope. And if we’re one then we’re His.Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-483495952362341602018-07-26T14:57:00.000-07:002019-02-27T14:58:12.922-08:00post for TOS: Annie Get Your GunNow that was a fun opening night! Ogden Musical Theatre nails it in their production of Annie Get Your Gun, playing at Peery’s Egyptian Theater every Thursday through Monday night, plus Saturday matinees, until August 11. The singing is pretty much perfect, with strong individual voices and a terrific ensemble. The casting is brilliant; we especially loved BJ Whimpey <a href="https://www.instagram.com/whimpeybj/">@whimpeybj</a> as <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/frankbutler/">#FrankButler</a> and could not get enough of Mickey Larson <a href="https://www.instagram.com/mixlarson/">@mixlarson</a> as <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/annieoakley/">#AnnieOakley</a>. She is so expressive, she was an amazing lead! Both are super duper talented in their comedic timing and singing voices, and their chemistry was great. In fact, so was the energy among the entire cast! They made the show what it should be — playful and sweet and funny and positive. Definitely a must-see, O-town!Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-84535009911964908822018-06-22T14:59:00.000-07:002019-02-27T15:00:54.198-08:00post for TOS: Nine Rails MuralsHave you been by 25th and Adams lately? This has already been a favorite art spot in Ogden with the Platforms exhibits and murals, and now it has a permanent new addition. <a href="https://www.instagram.com/ninerailsogden/">@ninerailsogden</a> has spearheaded the colorful project of adding murals to all 4 crosswalks as well as the median areas of the street between Adams and Washington. Neighbors have had the opportunity to help with the painting, too. Just another way Ogden shows its awesome colors. Also <a href="https://www.instagram.com/localartisancollective/">@localartisancollective</a> is working on an awesome new exhibit on the Platforms. Check it out!Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-26850607460445028912017-12-09T15:04:00.000-08:002019-02-27T15:04:26.707-08:00post for TOS: Fairly PotterThe Zig does it again! At this point, A Fairly Potter Christmas Carol is a holiday fixture here in Ogden. This year's cast is delightful, with good chemistry and a feeling that they are enjoying the experience right along with the audience. The jokes are quick, the references are brilliant. There's even a hilarious note of self deprecation that's nothing if it isn't totally charming. The brightest stars were first Isaac Allred <a href="https://www.instagram.com/isaacallred3354/">@isaacallred3354</a> in his portrayal of Young Jerry Potter, then Bryan Andrews <a href="https://www.instagram.com/12bandrews/">@12bandrews</a> swooped in and absolutely stole the show with his portrayal of Drake O'Malfoy, and then Eb Madson <a href="https://www.instagram.com/ebnflow13/">@ebnflow13</a>showed up and had everyone eating out of his hand as he portrayed You-Know-Who. Well done <a href="https://www.instagram.com/ziegfeldtheater/">@ziegfeldtheater</a>! Hey Ogden, take your family and go see the show while it lasts!Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-72461174840056535292017-12-02T15:06:00.000-08:002019-02-27T15:31:37.596-08:00post for TOS: YCC + Light the WorldGuys, we are so excited and hopeful right now! We have a super easy and hopefully super impactful way for you to help out locally in Ogden this holiday season! Have you heard about <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/lighttheworld/">#LIGHTtheWORLD</a>? This is an effort of <a href="https://www.instagram.com/mormonorg/">@mormonorg</a> to help each of us get outside of ourselves throughout the holidays. We have their ad running on our website; we get paid a few bucks each time someone views the ad, and we've decided to donate those advertising dollars locally to Ogden's YCC. But to really make it impactful, we need you O-town!! Please oh please just visit our site and then the LIGHT the WORLD ad will load. That easy! We'll be reminding you lots to do this so that we can generate a hefty donation for the YCC. It's an easy way to LIGHT the WORLD in Ogden this holiday season!Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-24426921645616321602017-11-12T14:43:00.000-08:002019-02-27T15:27:16.527-08:00this is who i am<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
I think at a certain point, if we allow ourselves to, we grow past caring so hard what other people think about the less meaningful parts of us. We stop striving to be another version of ourselves or someone else. I like myself in all my flaws and beauty, I can say that with confidence and peace and satisfaction. I'm not saying I'm immune, but when I do find myself feeling the buffetings of keeping up with the Joneses, I remember that what I have to offer isn't in the way that I look or the things that I have. My worth is in who I am and what I give and say and do. Happy Sunday.Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-56276073384317968242017-10-24T21:55:00.000-07:002019-02-27T08:48:35.475-08:00my take on the Word of WisdomToday, one of my former young women asked me about how to explain the Word of Wisdom. I have actually been ruminating on this for a while, so this was a good chance for me to focus and figure out how to articulate my thoughts. Here is what I came up with:<br />
<br />
The way I see it, the Word of Wisdom has two parts. The first part is a list of don'ts that Heavenly Father is real specific about (no coffee, no tea, no alcohol, no tobacco, no illegal drugs). We aren't given the whys on those, so any Mormon who pretends to have the why answer on those is just giving a guess. I can pretty safely guess the why on the tobacco and drugs - because they're kind of the worst - but the other three are arguably healthy in moderation. So why!? Well I don't know, but the fact is I believe God commanded it and so I obey it.<br />
<br />
The second part is a guideline for caring for our bodies, our temples, our vessels for serving and doing good. There's a bit in there about meat and grains and fruits and seasons and stuff. But it's not super specific which means I get to use my agency. The idea is to <i>care</i> for my body. Use discretion, be smart, follow the spirit.<br />
<br />
So many Mormons think they're good to go into the temple if they just follow the don'ts. But really we all ought to check ourselves on the second part just as much as on the first.Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-59582069708855828722017-10-05T15:07:00.000-07:002019-02-27T15:08:18.618-08:00post for TOS: Thai PalmWho remembers the old Eastside Diner from days of yore? 🙋 And whose hearts broke when it closed? 💔 And who has missed it as much as we have? 🙋 Well we've got some good news for you! It's back!!!!! The new Thai Palm restaurant up on Harrison is the former Eastside Diner, and their food is as fantastic as ever. Today we sampled their classic <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/padthai/">#padthai</a> and their <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/pineapplecurry/">#pineapplecurry</a>, and they were both oooh so good. A $7.50 <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/lunchcombo/">#lunchcombo</a> gets you salad or soup (we recommend that super flavorful <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/hotandsoursoup/">#hotandsoursoup</a>), entree, eggroll or won tons, and a side of steamed or fried rice. Thai Palm features six types of <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/curry/">#curry</a>, and lovely Thai staples including pad Thai, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/larb/">#larb</a>, and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/papayasalad/">#papayasalad</a>. Get up there and check it out for yourself!Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-69237360995229539452017-07-01T15:10:00.000-07:002019-02-27T15:10:43.181-08:00post for TOS: SpinosaurusThe Ogden Scene is at the Dinosaur Park today meeting the new <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/spinosaurus/">#Spinosaurus</a>! If you're a member then come right now and enjoy the events listed in the flyer posted (<a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/swipeleft/">#swipeleft</a> a few times); there are guided tours and crafts and booths and face painting and a raffle drawing, and food trucks are setting up now! If you're not a member, membership is 10% off today! General public is welcome after noon. Much of the Dinosaur Park is nice and shady, so it's a perfect chance to come get out of the heat. And check out theogdenscene.com later today for the Spinosaurus' very cool origin story!! Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-25922865557349734232017-06-26T15:12:00.000-07:002019-02-27T15:12:17.173-08:00post for TOS: Maria'sWe feel like the number one reason to eat at <a href="https://www.instagram.com/mariasmexut/">@mariasmexut</a> is their <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/molcajete/">#molcajete</a>. Holy smokes, the flavor in this bowl is out of this world! It comes with perfectly seasoned and cooked chicken, carne asada, and shrimp, with nopalitos, jalapenos, and onions all steeping just beautifully together, and served with tortillas and fresh salsa and guacamole and sour cream. And rice and beans, of course! Maria's also boasts a bunch of other authentic food, including a few camarones dishes, and it's all so tasty! With great food, super warm service, and lovely surroundings, there are about a thousand good reasons to eat at Maria's. But we feel pretty strongly that the number one reason is that molcajete. Go get you some! Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-10565791446483372862017-03-09T18:45:00.000-08:002019-02-27T15:26:45.931-08:00let's talk about sex<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
I have not found it to be <i>that </i>big of a deal to talk about sex with the kids. The topic comes up organically, and we explain it to them on their level. We have never said anything like, "We'll talk about it when you're older," about that, or really about anything. If it comes up, we talk about it, applying a little tailoring to fit their their age and development. I have found that it comes up every several months or so, and so we talk about it that often. I don't think it has to be a big sit-down revelation. And I've found it's really the same with so many, maybe all, parent teaching moments.<br />
<br />
Tonight's bedtime story was an anatomy book, specifically the lady parts section. We all learned a little more.Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-30120891929545510342014-07-15T10:11:00.002-07:002019-02-27T15:33:06.933-08:00The Good Son<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<a href="http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2128910-jordan-brand-rolls-out-moving-re2pect-tribute-for-derek-jeter">This</a> video made me weep.<br />
<br />
I love baseball. I grew up going to Wrigley, loving the sound of Harry Carey's slurred commentating from a beer-drenched microphone, and losing a lot. And then I married the biggest sports fan I know, a guy who feels more than just love for the game of baseball, but reverence and romance, a fiercely loyal Yankees fan. If I resisted, there was no way I couldn't become a Yankees fan myself. In the '09 season, our first year of marriage, it was a thrill to watch Chris get so invested in the games - as happy or excited or angry or totally bummed out as if their performance had a direct, specific impact on our family's wellbeing - and to become almost that invested myself. (I say "almost" because you <i>cannot</i> fake that). He is ritualistic and superstitious (if Tex got a base hit when Chris was up getting a drink, well then he had to stand in just the same position for the rest of the game). And then the Yankees won the World Series that year. Chris was sure it was because it was the year Olive was born. I was pregnant with Lucy during that Series, and we hadn't found out what we were having yet, so I told Chris: "If Posada hits 20 this season, and it's a boy, then we'll name him Jorge." Posada came through, but we had to wait for the next go-around to have our Georgey. It was towards the end of my pregnancy with sweet Lucy when Derek Jeter was named the 2009 Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year, and I read <a href="http://www.si.com/vault/2009/12/07/105883745/2009-sportsman-of-the-year-derek-jeter">this article</a>. I naturally liked Jeter before that, exhilarated by his trademark jump throw, but this insight into the man he is marked the beginning of my true fandom. I read the article a few times, and wrote <a href="http://afteraugustawaits.blogspot.com/2010/01/i-want-son_21.html">this blog post</a> about how it made me want to have a son so badly. And today, I watched the video with my good little baseball loving son. I love baseball, and I love the Yankees, and I have just tons of #RE2PECT for Derek Jeter.<br />
<br />
Still hoping we get to see him play this season...Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-56452467997732573422014-07-14T19:59:00.000-07:002019-02-27T10:03:13.710-08:00an article I wrote for EEKEight pounds. That’s how much weight I’d gained when I stepped on the scale the other day for the first time in a month. And here’s how I would like to have reacted: a healthy Ha, what a summer so far, woops! Followed by a non-obsessive commitment to upping the exercise while not downing so many maple bars. Here’s how I actually reacted: sat down on the side of the tub and sobbed my broken heart out. Then the thought came to me, clear as day, This is not your worth.<br />
<br />
The trouble is, while I understand that, I don’t believe it. Because I have, and have always had, a terrible body image. It’s undeniable that our culture and society foster an emphasis on physical appearance, and that on an indomitable scale. Where my husband and children and I live, you can’t go too far on the freeway without seeing a billboard for breast augmentation or fat removal/replacement, and you can’t walk down more than a few aisles at the grocery store without seeing someone sporting fake eyelashes. It’s one thing to deal with what these images and influences do to me – I am constantly battling an obsession with trying to be better looking – but now, as a mother of 4, my more urgent worry is how to help my kids survive unscathed and with a healthy sense of self.<br />
<br />
Here are three measures I am taking in order to help my kids develop a healthy body image:<br />
<br />
<div>
1. Resist complimenting them on their appearance. Now, I’m certainly not saying I never tell my kids they’re beautiful. I do. But the idea is to seek out other ways to validate them more often so that the emphasis is on their worth rather than their appearance. In this same vein, it’s so important that when we are talking about others we don’t place emphasis on their appearance. Our kids are listening. Always. Even when they’re not, they are. And if they hear us making someone sound valuable or worthless because of the way they look, they will absolutely learn from that.</div>
<div>
2. Just let ‘em eat! Anxiety at the food table is directly related to eating disorders and body image issues, and that anxiety can seep in even when you think you’re harmlessly encouraging them to just finish their dinner. I present healthy foods, let the kids see me eating them, and resist every urge to have any conversation beyond that.</div>
<div>
3. For crying out loud, don’t self-deprecate. This one seems very, very basic to me and yet I hear parents do this all too often. Example is the best teacher, and our kids are going to learn to behave as we do. I mentioned before my lifelong struggle with body image, but you know what? My kids have no idea. I never allow them to see me or hear me in my struggle, and I ask family and friends not to engage in that type of conversation in front of them as well.<br />
<br />
All three of these measures have something in common: conversation. How do we resist the impossible customs and habits our world culture is teaching us and our kids about our bodies? Just shut up about it! Stop talking about it all together. I’m confident that if we resist our urges to talk about it, to post articles about it, and if we just shut up about it, we and our kids will be OK.</div>
Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-79321908848305215872012-08-03T08:23:00.000-07:002019-02-27T09:14:22.613-08:00"Wise Confidence in Men Builds Them"That's a quote from Marion D. Hanks. I like the way Goethe wrote it, and recently have been thinking about how it can apply to parenting:<br />
<br />
"If you treat an individual as he is, he will stay as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he could be and ought to be, he will become what he ought to be."<br />
<br />
Chris and I try really hard not to do for our kids what they can do for themselves. Right now that means the girls put on their own clothes, put their dishes in the sink and wipe their own faces after meals, for a few examples. Later it'll mean homework and projects, and even later it'll mean making good life decisions. And so, while it requires having more patience than comes naturally for me to wait for Lucy to climb on and off the potty by herself, that little exercise repeated several times each day is teaching some valuable independence and self-sufficiency. And even when they fail, or ask for help, it doesn't come without at least a little bit of discussion and learning. That's my theory and hope, anyway.Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-18989405432952437572012-05-02T08:24:00.000-07:002019-02-27T09:14:53.421-08:00You've Got Your Hands FullI know this. I signed up for it. On purpose and not at all because we're reckless and/or irresponsible, Chris and I had 3 kids each 13 months apart from one another. And it's only because it didn't happen in my timing that our last one will be a whopping 18 months younger than George, otherwise she'd be born right about now.<br />
<br />
I prefer to be out and about. I'm pretty judicious about what outings I'll take the kids on. Grocery shopping? Not unless Chris is with me. To a sit down restaurant? Absolutely not, that's a disaster waiting to happen and more importantly, it's not at all fun for me. Post office? Sure, if it's a pretty quick in and out then why not. I don't allow the fact that I have 3 very dependent very small kids in carseats slow me down all that much. Because I prefer being out and about to sitting in the house. It's my preference. Having said that, I try pretty hard to keep my kids under control and even charming while we're out. If they're in rotten moods, we don't subject the world to their stinkerness. I get that kids can really suck. Mine included. So, like I said, I'm judicious about what outings, and what moods, we go out in. Point is, we go out.<br />
<br />
Those are two very deliberate choices I've made in my life - to have children very close together, and to be out and about. And I know what it looks like. It didn't <i>happen</i> to me; I <i>chose</i> to have my hands full.<br />
<br />
Also, I don't go around expecting people to be extra helpful or generous to me just because my load is super wide. I don't hate them if they don't jump to help me with a door. But if they do, well then I'm exceedingly grateful and dazzled by that person. I don't expect extra favors; but I suppose I do expect decency.<br />
<br />
"You've got your hands full!" I hear this phrase at least once, if not 4 or 5 times (seriously), every time I go out. It's usually people being playful with me and I'm cheerful back to them. But once in a while, it's got a judgmental edge that just cannot be masked. I'd like to point those guys to this essay.<br />
<br />
Today we went to the post office after a few other errands, and I had pushed my kids' good moods a little too far. It was my own fault. Olive started annoying Lucy, and Lucy started screaming. The postal worker in the lane next to me actually covered his ears each time she screamed. I thought he was joking at first, and even looked at him with a grin. But he made it real clear that he was not joking and that Lucy's screams were exasperating to him. I thought, I hope he's never had any children or grandchildren of his own because guess what, kids scream. Anyway, it really rubbed me the wrong way and as I passed him on my way out of the post office, I looked at him and said, "You're ridiculous, you know that?" Not my proudest moment, but it felt good!<br />
<br />
In contrast, a few minutes later we were done using the public bathroom at city hall, and we were slowly - let me stress S.L.O.W.L.Y. - making our way toward the exit. A city worker rushed to the door and held it open for that entire slow process of us getting out the door - first Olive half walking, half crawling on her sore leg, then Lucy who does everything oh so slowly, and then me and George bringing up the rear. Not only did the worker hold the door for us, but she made really pleasant chit chat: said how cute the kids were, and even asked about Olive's limp and said what a bummer that must be for her. I thanked her profusely, and hopefully showed equal amounts of appreciation for her as I did disdain for the other guy.<br />
<br />
I don't want to be a defensive jerk about all this. I'm sure the postal worker is a good guy, and hey sometimes I want to cover my ears when kids scream. But gosh, how much happier did I feel after the pleasant exchange with the city hall worker? Let's make a deal, I'll be more careful and considerate about my kids' moods when we're in public - controlling what I can - and you just be decent. K?<br />
<br />
I know, I have my hands full.Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-26302024665110793192012-01-23T20:22:00.000-08:002019-02-27T09:17:53.798-08:00Dark Secret<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxGmd2L9a-nvokt8P9LMTxvJu83MyQD3-QbS2IYdG37nTuGCuCfFUgnK2FJwUFW9jKGQbd0ohoQRZl_yUUqMX-e7L9ZwnQEjEOwTkdyFtBnFkE9XOA6hFtG4wYnrVmHBGepJlWJLGuRmJd/s1600/811412b8595a682aa9bb1fb27f37377b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxGmd2L9a-nvokt8P9LMTxvJu83MyQD3-QbS2IYdG37nTuGCuCfFUgnK2FJwUFW9jKGQbd0ohoQRZl_yUUqMX-e7L9ZwnQEjEOwTkdyFtBnFkE9XOA6hFtG4wYnrVmHBGepJlWJLGuRmJd/s320/811412b8595a682aa9bb1fb27f37377b.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I hate confessing this, but it's at the forefront of our lives at the moment: I'm having really big, bad, embarrassing mood swings with this pregnancy. Like, quick little bursts of irrational and uncontrollable anger. And if you know me, you hopefully think I'm mostly an easygoing person and that this isn't something I do. Even when it's time for mine and Chris's semiannual argument, I tend to stay pretty reasonable and calm unless I'm super duper provoked. But not right now. Right now it's almost like I'm looking for a fight, like I'm daring anyone to mess with me. Super irritable, super unforgiving of simple little accidents (which happen all the time with the tiny company I keep), and really impatient and smug. It's such an ugly set of feelings. Anyway, so this really sucks for me. For us. I'm embarrassed about it, and I hate it oh so much. Tonight I did a little Googling about it, and that only pissed me off. Well, it did make me feel a little better to know I'm not the only one who goes through it. But when I read suggested ways to cope with it I wanted to punch something. <i>Walk away, write it out, take a mental health break... </i>Dumb. What I do is lean on Chris a bunch, and he's so fantastic, and I stay as lazy and stress-free as I can. Which of course, means getting out of our routine and watching lots of television and letting things go undone. But that's OK right now. I hope it passes the minute I get into my second trimester. Or preferably sooner.<br />
<br />
In other news, you should know and be forewarned that I have no hope of being anything but chubby until this baby is out and is a few months old. OK, that statement was more for me than it was for you.Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-91134453489712303022011-09-27T08:30:00.000-07:002019-02-27T09:18:09.690-08:00Learning to FailWe've been pretty maxed out lately with my back pain, with Chris having an extremely stressful period at work, and just with the daily crazy demands of time and energy that come with having kids so young. There has been a lot of frustration and discouragement and tears under our roof lately. This week is particularly tough. I got a cortisone injection yesterday and I'm sore from that on top of my regular pain. Chris has until Friday to pass a series of tests for a new drug he's taking on, and he needs to work in Henderson all week long. So it was a tough few moments this morning when we were getting ready to part ways.<br />
<br />
I'm not much of a sitter and wallower, and things had definitely piled up, so I made a call. I called Norma Jean, my ward Relief Society president, and filled her in. She sent over the compassionate service leader, who happens to be her mother-in-law Algie. I also sent a text out to a handful of girls who have been generously offering to help all through this trial of ours, and let them know exactly what I need this week. One thing I know not to do in a time like this is to force willing, helpful people to guess how you need help. Instead, I just spelled it out for them. Their responses, and Algie's tenderness, were overwhelming. I wanted to be mothered, or <i>mommied</i> really, and Algie gave me that. How sweet and empathetic and funny and tender she was, I'll always remember that and hope to emulate it. I made up a little schedule of things that I need done this week - outings for Olive and Lucy, picking up the house and doing laundry, and dinners - and my friends filled in all the holes for me. And they all offered to do more than what I had even asked for. Amazing. Generous. Good women.<br />
<br />
And so the big lesson I learned today is how to receive service. I think the hardest thing is letting everyone know that I don't have things under control, I don't have it all together. I've really had to check my Mormon Mommy pride at the door.<br />
<br />
Speaking of which, I was talking with Friend A tonight about Friend B who is just
exceedingly talented and creative, and I said, "Friend B really does it
all, doesn't she?" And Friend A said, "She can't fail." For me it
was interesting that I had this conversation today of all days. Before
today I would've felt threatened and insecure about my own achievements
hearing Friend A say that about Friend B. I would've wanted Friend A
to say such a thing about me! But after today, I'm pretty comfortable
and confident in saying I <i>can</i> and <i>do</i> fail.<br />
<br />
And that's the lesson, again, that I learned today. It's in the knowing that I can fail, in the knowing my weaknesses and limits, and in the asking for help, that I'm actually really strong. I'm strong, or strengthened, because of the girls who rallied around me today and filled in all the gaps for me. There's also a lesson here about the Atonement of Jesus Christ; it's only effective when we confess our inabilities and impossibilities, and rely on Him to fill in the gap.<br />
<br />
I read a couple of great articles tonight about receiving service. I liked <a href="http://lds.org/new-era/1975/12/to-give-and-to-receive?lang=eng&query=%22receiving+end%22+%22charity%22">this one</a> and <a href="http://lds.org/ensign/1989/12/the-red-uglies?lang=eng&query=%22receiving+end%22+%22charity%22">this one</a>, but the bit that articulated what I was looking for is this: <br />
<br />
<i>"The time will come in all our lives when we will need the assistance of others. For the time being, we may feel confident, important, and powerful, yet we should acknowledge our need for others. Tragedy can and does strike without a moment’s warning, and we could suddenly find ourselves on the receiving end of charity. How hard it will be for us then to receive a humble offering from a friend or neighbor if we are not used to both giving and receiving.<br /><br />Again we are taught by Christ’s example. Not only did he give in the purest form of the law, but he gratefully and humbly received the ministering of others throughout his mortal life. Indeed, even his burial place was borrowed."</i><br />
<br />
No better place to end this.Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-63224742195486522292011-09-01T07:04:00.000-07:002019-02-27T15:33:51.320-08:00Everyone's Got All The Answers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
If you want unsolicited advice from everyone in the world, herniate a disc. What a rude and ungrateful thing to say! I know, I'm sorry. I guess I can't help but be amused at everyone's answers to my problem... <br />
<br />
<i>Heat it; ice it; see a chiropractor; definitely DO NOT see a chiropractor, they're not real doctors; see MY chiropractor, he is LITERALLY the best chiropractor in the WORLD!!!; go straight to an orthopedic; go straight to a neurosurgeon; let the body heal itself, you know the body can do remarkable things on its own; go swimming; get a massage; don't get a massage; stretch and exercise; do THIS stretch; DON'T exercise whatever you do; get acupuncture; take some of MY prescription pain medicine; use an inversion table; </i>and my favorite:<i> don't pick up your kids.</i><br />
<br />
Here's what I've done so far and my plan going forward. Now be aware that I may not have chosen your suggested path. Don't take it personally. I still love you and your answers.<br />
<br />
My guess is that the injury happened when I had George back in April, because that's when the pain started. For the first 3 months (MONTHS!!!) I didn't know what it was and thought it would go away. I've had back issues before (you remember Twisty Back), and they've always worked themselves out within a couple of weeks. So that's what I thought would happen here. It wasn't until we were on our huge road trip in July that I turned a big bad corner and knew something must be done. See, sitting in the car is the worst. THE WORST. (Oh, I've mentioned that before, haven't I?) So when we were in the car for so long, I think I must've really aggravated it. That's when I decided to see Dr. Huffman, a chiropractor in town. He's great, I really like him, and I really really like his nurse Phyllis. I've been seeing them 3 times a week for the past 5 weeks. Each time I go I do electrical muscle stimulation, the decompression table, ultrasound, and get adjusted. When I wasn't showing signs of improvement after the first 3 weeks, and after our little road trip to Vegas last week aggravated the thing so badly, we decided I should get an MRI. So I did that, and there was no surprise in finding that I had a herniated disc and that it was causing a lot of pain in my sciatic nerve. Dr. Huffman thinks the injury is manageable though, and feels confident that with 2-3 more weeks of the same treatment I should improve enough to not need more drastic treatment measures (cortisone shot, or surgery). He has casually mentioned that getting massages may help. I haven't asked him about acupuncture yet, but I do want to hear his take on it and so I'll ask him about it at my next appointment. So the plan is to do my regular treatment for the next 2-3 weeks. I might throw in some massages and/or acupuncture. I have and will continue to try and take it somewhat easy, but I will NOT not hold my children. I won't exercise because Dr. Huffman says not to, but I will do the stretches he showed me. I won't put heat on it because that worsens the inflammation, but I will put ice on it because that brings the inflammation down. I will take my prescribed pain medicine if it gets bad enough (I just try to avoid taking medicine as long as I can so that I can be lucid and functional). After that, if nothing has improved, then we'll talk about the cortisone shot and/or the surgery.<br />
<br />
Don't get mad at me for writing this! I really do appreciate everyone's interest and concern. Even more, I super duper appreciate how helpful some of you have been. It's just funny to hear everyone's answers, and how some of them completely contradict the next guy's. Anyway, it's not over yet but I've got a plan. And we'll just see how that goes. Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7619981652522920727.post-61570007869378590182011-08-31T08:33:00.000-07:002019-02-27T15:27:02.291-08:00Pedestals<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
When Chris and I got married <a href="http://www.wrestlingvalley.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Ric-Flair.jpg">Bishop Leatherwood</a> told us to always put each other on a pedestal. For me, it stuck. We talk about it a lot, and I can confidently speak for both of us when I say that we are really so happily married. I think it's because we're well-matched and super good friends, but mostly I think it's because we're both constantly putting each other on a pedestal. I could be wrong, but it seems lately like we might be in the minority on that one. <br />
<br />
A few months ago I had a conversation with a friend that went something like this:<br />
<br />
Me: I'm so tired lately.<br />
Her: You should go to bed right after you put your kids to bed.<br />
Me: Yeah, but I like to stay up and hang out with Chris.<br />
Her: (gives a smug snicker) Oh, that's because you haven't been married long enough.<br />
<br />
I just kind of gave a courtesy laugh at the time, but I actually felt really irritated at that conversation. First of all, it was kind of a rude and insulting thing to say, implying I don't know the ins and outs of marriage because we've only been married for a couple years. But more importantly, why does being married longer mean that I somehow get to be less considerate of my husband? I like to think I'll always be as considerate of him as I was the day we got married. And actually, the more I grow with him the more I <i>want</i> to consider his feelings first in everything. It just seemed like a self-entitled grouchy-wife thing to say, and I didn't like it.<br />
<br />
In other news, a friend recently told us that he has always put his wife on a pedestal and it has gotten him nothing but a spoiled self-entitled wife and no reciprocation. He said he loved his wife, and that he's in it for the long haul, but he's not happy. I was really really really bummed when he told us that. And I had to wonder if that's more the norm than the dynamic Chris and I have. I mean, it would seem the principle of putting each other on a pedestal only works for the greater good if both parties are doing it. So did Chris and I just luck out that we both feel like doing that for each other? Are people out there really OK with not reciprocating when their spouse puts them on a pedestal?? <br />
<br />
I don't know, it just bums me out. Love each other, you guys. Be generous. Be considerate. Don't get all comfortable and lazy, bossy and self-entitled. Put each other on a pedestal.Brooke Barraganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08619229705331551779noreply@blogger.com0